10 Feet Behind
by V-Heartbreaker
Summary: Im standing 10 ft from where she’s getting married and theres nothing I can do about it. I feel the tears now, running down, damping my features, staining my dress. Its finally hitting me that I lost her and that its really over.
1. Intro

**Ten feet behind  
Intro**

Have you every woke up one morning, with the sunrays softly sneaking through your window, hearing the birds chirping happily outside, smelling the freshly brewed coffee coming from your kitchen and thought to yourself, god… what a beautiful day?

That should've been my first thought this morning as I stepped out into my balcony, feeling the fresh breeze cooling my skin as I stared into the sunny California skies. I spotted a couple of surfers making their way across the beach, eagerly jogging as they held on to their boards. I glanced down at my watch; 7:00 am. Had it been any other day, I would've probably joined them. But as I sipped onto my coffee, feeling the bitter taste linger on my tongue, I knew this was not like any other day. In fact, it was the most dreadful day of my life. One I would give anything for it to be a dream.

A sudden sound startles me and rapidly I'm thrown back into reality. A familiar melody is heard being played on a piano near by and I feel my heart start beating faster. I shut my eyes tightly and clench my fist, hoping it would be 7 am and I'd be in my apartment again, drinking coffee and watching surfers riding waves. But my hopes eventually died, when I open my eyes again and find myself in the same place I've been for the last fifteen minutes. I see large wooden doors open and everything starts spinning, my pulse quickens and there's a loud thumping noise inside my head. I wanna run away. So my eyes desperately seek for a way out where I'd go unnoticed. But I fail to do so, as a mass of people turn their heads in the direction of the opening door, and I sit frozen. And my vision gets blurred.

And it all stops.

My heart stops.

Except it really doesn't, its just beating extremely low and everything seems to move in slow motion. Then my eyes land on the one person I did not want to see walking through those doors. The one person I was hoping I wouldn't see at all today.

But I do.

And she's standing right there. And my breath hitches, and then I swear I stopped breathing. Cause she's walking and she's looking more beautiful than I had ever seen her.

Her blue eyes are twinkling with an excitement I hadn't seen in a long time, and her smile… oh, god her smile. She's heading towards my direction, eyes fixed ahead and I swear I feel the soft fabric of her white dress brush my skin as she walks past me. A familiar scent washes over me and it all becomes a little too much for me to handle.

As my eyes linger on the flower trail left behind her, I begin to wonder what I was even doing here. Why did I bother to show up? But then, I know the answer. It's as clear as the tears threatening to leave my eyes. I was hoping for a miracle.

Somehow, after all this time I still held a little light of hope inside me, even after finding out she was getting married. I was somehow hoping she wouldn't come through with it. I was wishing for those wooden doors where she emerged from, never had to open. I had hoped in a crazy, fantasy like way, she would go back on her word at the last minute and run off from the church and tell me to go with her. And I would have. Cause that's how much I love her.

But those hopes die out as she reaches the altar and faces the man waiting patiently for her with love written all over his face. The man that was soon gonna be her _husband._

I cringe at that word.

Without much hesitation I get up from my seat, not caring for the looks my friends were giving me. I take my purse and excuse myself to the back door.

Once outside, I let out a heave breath I didn't know I was holding. I look at the sky again… it was still a beautiful day. Everything was so calm, so peaceful, so perfect. I shake my head as I look inside my purse for my Marlboros. Lighting up my cigarette I look back at the church. The doors are closed now, and that's a good thing. I'm not planning on going back anyway. I don't think I can handle watching the love of my life making promises of forever to someone else. Someone that wasn't me.

There's a sharp pain in my heart and I can feel my body shaking. I'm standing ten feet behind from where she's getting married and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel the tears now, running down, damping my features, staining my dress. It's finally hitting me that I really lost her, and there's nothing I can do to change that.

I'm ten feet late.


	2. How it all began

**10 Feet Behind  
Rating: M for language, drug reference and intimacy**

**AN: So this chapter is a little different than the Intro. Hope it doesn't throw you off too much. It's how they first met. This story is actually based on a recent experience, so its a little different and more personal from any other thing I've written. Anyways, thank you all for your reviews, it was very encouraging. On with the story...**

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**Ten feet behind  
Chapter 1: How it all began**

Have you every wondered what it would be like if you hadn't existed? How your friends would be like if they hadn't met you? Or worse, what would happen if you'd suddenly die? Do you wonder who would come to your funeral? Would anybody cry for you?

I sometimes wonder about stuff like that. I really have no idea why. Just crazy thoughts that get to my senses from time to time. Its usually after I smoke a joint, that I'm left alone with my thoughts and I just wonder about things…

I shook out of it as I heard a honking noise coming from outside my apartment. Giving the joint one last hit before putting it out, I reached for my cell phone and cigarette box placed on my bed. I found my sunglasses on the way out of my bedroom and was quick to put them on as I reached the door and stepped into the broad daylight.

"Damn, Ashley. You look hot!" My best friend exclaimed as I walked toward him. He turned off the engine of his motorcycle, and as he hopped off he scooped me into his arms, kissing me all over the face.

"Andrew!" I managed to say in between laughs.

Andrew had been my best and only good friend since I graduated high school and moved to L.A. last year to pursue music. He wasn't a very tall guy, probably about 3 inches taller than me. Medium built, handsome features, tan skin and dark, wavy hair. He loved to surf--as myself-- race, drink and party. At the age of 21, he was already a very mature guy, fun to be around with and easy to talk to--not to mention extremely gay. We met in UCLA freshman year during orientation, and instantly liked him. However, it wasn't until last semester that I broke up with my on and off girlfriend of two years that we started hanging out more, and have been inseparable since then.

"You ready to go?" He asked handing me a helmet, barely able to see his face through his.

I nodded and hopped on his black Ducati, only to be joined by him seconds after. I wrapped my arms around his waist as I heard the engine starting, and we were off.

About fifteen minutes after leaving my drive way, we arrived at a big, two-story household I recognized as my friend Glen Carlin's. We heard hip hop music blasting off from the back yard and I smiled knowingly.

"Looks like Glen started the party without us." I muttered getting off the bike.

Andrew shrugged.

"Probably his sister got home early."

See, I met Glen through Andrew. They had been best friends since middle school and as I started hanging out with Andrew, I began to spend time with Glen as well. He was a pretty cool guy, loved drinking and was a Guitar Hero fanatic. Which was fine by me, considering how much I loved Rock Band. I hadn't met his sister yet, but I had found out a little while ago, she had been staying in New York with their dad about six months now, and had decided to spend Spring Break back in L.A. I hadn't heard much about her, just that she was a recent college graduate and a party girl.

Just then, the front door opened and I was shaken out of my thoughts as a tall blonde woman greeted us.

"Hey Paula." Andrew said casually.

She smiled kindly at both of us.

"Hey Andrew…" She looked at me. "Ashley, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, come on inside. They're all in the back, by the pool. Spencer got here about 30 minutes ago." She said excitedly, as she moved slightly to the side, letting us go in the house.

We walked inside; I instantly grabbed a hold of Andrew's hand as he led me through the living room area and into the backyard, Paula disappearing somewhere in the kitchen. Once outside, I gave a quick scan over the space. I spotted Glen by the pool with a cigarette in one hand and a beer bottle on the other one. He was talking to a blonde girl I didn't recognize, but assumed it was her sister. Her back was to us, so I couldn't really see her face. But boy did she have a smoking body. I tightened my grip on Andrews hand and he smirked knowingly.

"Hey Glen!" Andrew called out over the music. The blonde quickly turned and grinned, waving at us to go over.

"Andrew… Ashley!" A teasing and very feminine voice called at us coming from a different direction. We turned and spotted Marlon Carlin, Glen's very _very _gay cousin in the pool. He was holding something that looked like –I squinted my eyes- … a blunt. The obvious smell of pot flooding my senses as we made our way across the backyard. I grinned at Marlon, and wondered for a brief moment if Paula was cool with the whole weed thing or just didn't know.

Glen turned down the volume on the music, still smiling.

"Damn, what took you guys so long?"

That's when the blonde girl he was talking to finally turned around. And oh, my god, was she stunning. She was wearing a navy and white bikini that hugged her body perfectly in all the right places, and still managing to bring out her eyes. Waves of silky blonde hair framed her face, flushed probably from the sun or the beer she had been drinking. Her bright blue eyes quickly scanned me over before landing on Andrew and smiling widely.

"Oh my god, Drew!" She leaped toward him, throwing her slender and toned arms around his neck. He hugged her back, letting go of my hand in the process. Damn, how I wish I was him right then.

"Spencer… I missed you!" He exclaimed planting various kisses on her cheek.

The blonde pulled back. "I know, me too. It's so good to be back home!" She flashed him a fabulous grin, before looking at me.

"Oh, Spence." Glen broke in casually, handing me and Andrew two Coronas. "This is Ashley, she goes to UCLA. She's new in town. Pretty cool chick." He said, giving me a pat on the back.

"Hell yeah she's awesome." Andrew said while putting his arm around me. "She's my new best friend."

The blonde smiled, tilting her head slightly. "Sweet. I'm Spencer." She said reaching out to shake my hand.

"Ashley." I managed to breathe out, smiling casually. I gently shook her hand, tensing up slightly at the feel of her soft touch.

"Hey guys!" A high pitched voice screeched from behind us. The four of us turned around to see Marlon, soaked, with a towel around his waist (I silently hoped that wasn't all he was wearing) and still holding on to the blunt from a few minutes ago.

"Ashley." He said as he passed the blunt to me. I hesitated a little before taking it, feeling Spencer's eyes on me the whole time. I really didn't want this to be her first impression of me, but seeing as how her cousin was such a big pothead, she must be okay with it.

So I took one big, long hit.

"This is some good shit…" I managed to say still holding in the smoke.

I passed the blunt to Andrew, who just passed it on to Glen, who took a swig from his beer instead and passed it to Spencer. I expected for her to say no and just passing it to the next person as Andrew and Glen did before, but instead she surprised me by taking a small hit.

"Weed always makes me sleepy." She commented before taking another hit. "But I like the taste."

I really wasn't expecting that. Actually, I really didn't know what to expect from Spencer Carlin. I didn't even know her. Its just that everyone always said such good things about her; straight A student, great personality, hard worker, intelligent… you get the point. I knew she liked to party, I've heard plenty of interesting stories from Glen and Marlon, but never once did they mention drugs. Not that it's a big deal or anything, I've had my share with narcotics and I absolutely loved smoking pot. I guess I was just expecting her to be… _healthier._

Spencer passed the blunt back to Marlon before lighting a cigarette.

Yeah I guess not.

We smoked for a couple of more minutes. I enjoyed the mellow environment I was surrounded by. Spencer made a few comments about how much she missed L.A. while she was away, but that she absolutely loves New York, and really wants to go back soon to find a job there. I learned she graduated from NYU, majored in Foreign Languages and could speak fluently French, German and Spanish. Can you say awesome? When she asked me about my major, her eyes lit up instantly when I told her it was music. She made me promise her she would get to see me play sometime. She mentioned something about playing piano, and Marlon laughed and joked about how the only instrument Spencer could play was Guitar Hero. Andrew and Glen were inside the pool by then, drinking and laughing about some stupid joke Glen probably told. Sometimes I wondered about those two. I knew Glen loved women, and was actually dating a really hot girl from UCLA. I think her name was Kyla. But they just seemed too… _close._

"Earth to Ashley."

A soft voice broke me from my thoughts, it was Spencer's. She was smirking at me, her blue eyes hanging low and a little red. I looked at Marlon. He had a huge smile on his face, and I couldn't help laughing. Boy, we were so high.

"I'm heading to the pool." Marlon said before taking a beer from the cooler and joining Andrew and Glen.

"I'm soooo sleepy." Spencer grumbled.

I smiled. "No, you're stoned."

She looked at me and tilted her head, looking so adorable. "No… I'm not. I'm just really… really… uhh," She looked at the beer in my hand and then at the cooler "thirsty."

She bent over to grab a beer, letting me get a really good view of her… assets. Wow. I gulped down the rest of my beer.

"You coming?"

I nearly choked on the bitter liquid.

"I'm sorry?"

She flashed me a grin over her shoulder. "To the _pool_…" She made sure to state the word 'pool' really slowly. "I just figured it was getting a little hot in here." She placed a palm over her flushed cheeks.

Yeah, it most definitely is. I thought to myself. Maybe some cool water wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Before I had a chance to reply, Spencer was a already a few feet away from me, placing the beer bottle down before diving into the pool. I stared at her rising figure for a moment, before making my way over.

And so on that beautiful Wednesday afternoon of Spring Break '07, an unexpected event happened; something that would completely change the course of my life, turn my world upside down, and give me a change of heart.

Who would've thought on that afternoon, that in just a couple of months I would end up falling for Spencer Carlin, and eventually she would be the one to ultimately break my heart?

Definitely not me.


End file.
